Online March for Equality

When My Partner Had Cancer, We Did Not Have Several Critical Rights

In 1995, I made a commitment to my intended life partner. At the time, we were not allowed to marry legally. In 2001, we expanded our family with a daughter. Still, we were not able to marry. Also in 2001, my life partner was diagnosed with cancer. As a direct result of not being able to marry, I had to pay for her insurance ($315 per month), and my family insurance ($750 per month). When she applied for SSI and MassHealth, she was told that, although we were not allowed to marry, my income had to be included in the calculations. We were denied. Simultaneously, I was denied spousal social security benefits because we were not married. A double-whammy. It was bitter sweet for me when MA legalized gay marriage. My life partner, the other mother of my child, had already died in February of 2003. Were she still alive, we would be married now. However, I still would be ineligible to collect on her Social Security.

My Partner Is Not Eligible for My Health Benefits

Currently, I am not able to cover my partner with my health benefits like I would if we could be legally married. She has some major health issues and is without insurance. We can’t afford to get insurance just for her because of preexisting health conditions. As a result we spend the majority of our monthly income to pay medical bills.

I Was Not Allowed at My Partners Funeral and Had No Rights

My partner passed away from an accidental drug overdose. We were together 3 years and would have been married if the law allowed. When she passed away I had no rights to anything; I was not even allowed at her funeral. Her family took her body back to Ohio from Maine where we lived together most of our relationship—even though her wish was to be buried in Maine.

They also wouldn’t allow me to send her favorite outfit to put her in. They bought an outfit she never would have even worn. They took a picture of us and tore it in half and gave her half to the mortician and my half to the funeral director to keep me out of the funeral. Thankfully her Aunt knew the truth and was there for me and kept her cell phone on so I could hear the funeral over the phone. Hearing the service over the phone and visiting her grave site after everyone had left was the only closure I had.

I Serve With Honor, But Do Not Receive the Same Benefits

I serve this country with dignity and honor everyday just like others in our armed forces and I can’t be myself and share this life with the one I love because of the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Policy. There are so many rights we miss out on being in the military, one of them being that when we return from the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan, we miss out on counseling opportunities offered to reunited straight couples and their families.

If we were to get into harm’s way, our benefits would more than likely not be passed to the ones we love and care for in silence. Technically, our families and partners do not exist to the Armed Forces or to this country we dedicate and sacrifice our lives for. Unlike the other LGBT persons in America who can vocally fight and physically march for equal rights, we are different because we have no choice but to remain silent and continue working, while suffering inside, for the sake of national security. Please help draw attention to the issues. We’re all human beings first.

Women Denied Access to Visit Dying Partner

The family vacation cruise that Janice Langbehn, her partner Lisa Marie Pond and three of their four children set out to take in February 2007 was designed to be a celebration of the lesbian couple’s 18 years together. But when Pond suffered a massive stroke onboard before the ship left port and was rushed to Jackson Memorial Hospital, administrators refused to let Langbehn into the Pond’s hospital room. A social worker told them they were in an “anti-gay city and state.”

Langbehn filed a federal lawsuit charging the hospital with negligence and “anti-gay animus” in refusing to recognize her and the children as Pond’s family, even after a power of attorney was faxed to the hospital within an hour of their arrival. Pond, 39, was pronounced dead of a brain aneurysm about 18 hours after being admitted to Jackson’s Ryder Trauma Center. Langbehn said she was allowed in to see her partner only for about five minutes, as a priest gave Pond the last rites.

Read the full story:
http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2008/jun/25/woman-sues-miami-hospital-after-being-denied-visit/

I Can’t Live in My Own Country

I’m a US citizen and can’t live in my own country with my legal spouse just because she is a woman and from another country. Sponsoring a partner for immigration is one of the 1,138 rights denied to LGBT Americans.

I want to live in a United States that embraces all its citizens, regardless of who they love. In the meantime, my Australian wife and I live in the Netherlands, where discrimination has been banned for many years.

My Partner Cannot Return to the United States

I had a partner from argetina, that I lived with for 3 years. He moved home about 4 1/2 years ago for family reasons, but now he cannot return to the United States for 10 years because he overstayed his original visa. We continued the relationship until about 2 months ago, but the long distance simply became too difficult. If we could have married, he would still be living here with me and we would be together today.

We Will Have to Pay Higher Taxes When I Leave Work

My partner and I were married during the brief window in CA when it was legal. Later this month, I will be taking a leave of absence from my job to take some classes for a possible career change. Because I won’t be earning a salary anymore, we decided to shift my health insurance to my partner’s carrier through her employer, who offers spousal and domestic coverage for reasonable rates. However, when we attempted to do that, the HR person let us know that my partner would be taxed on the full value of the benefits I would be receiving, as if they were income. As a result, my partner and I will have to pay taxes on an extra $4,800 that a straight married couple would not have to pay.

Furthermore, we also learned we are going to have to pay our tax accountant a higher fee because our taxes are now ridiculously complicated. On the state level, we file taxes as a married couple, but on the federal level, we still have to file as single individuals. The hitch is that your state tax return is generated from your federal tax return, but our federal and state tax returns have to be different, so now we have to generate a “fake” federal return first.

We will also end up paying much more in taxes than a straight married couple would because, for federal purposes, we cannot divide my partner’s income across two people in order to calculate our tax bracket. She will be taxed as if she were single even though she is supporting me.

Estate taxes could bankrupt my husband

Last year I met with my financial planner and was shocked to learn that I could leave my partner in deep financial trouble when I die. Unlike straight couples that can pass their estates to their spouse tax-free, LGBT couples must pay full taxes as if we were leaving our estates to a total stranger. My husband would be forced to pay estate taxes on the full value of our home since we did not purchase our home together (we were not dating or married at the time). What’s worse, he would owe a tax on the full value of my business whose value would be set on the day I die. No doubt, it would force my business to have to close or be sold off—forcing my employees out of work.